Homeschooling Through Change

Greek pre-Socratic philosopher Heraclitus once said, "There is nothing permanent except change." That has certainly been true here, both in our homeschool and at Hearth & Gnome. Recently, we've weathered the death of my father, his widow moving to our town, and multiple family illnesses. In just the past few weeks, a close family friend died, we have received some surprising diagnoses, and we are watching in horror as vulnerable people and bedrock institutions are attacked. How are we navigating these changes? Most days I'd say it's luck. But on deeper analysis, I realize we've done three things: rest, reprioritize, and reframe.

Rest is underrated in our money- and power-driven society. I've spent much of my life focusing on "being productive," "pulling my weight," and "making a difference." And I still think those things matter. I do want to meet my responsibilities. I do want to use my talents and abilities. I do want to help others. But all of those activities require me at my best - me at my most rested. And getting more rest has looked like earlier bedtimes for everyone (yes, even the teen!), letting go of housekeeping and meal prepping standards that are exhausting, saying no to new commitments, even backing out of things that I realized I could not fulfill without exhausting my reservoirs of joyful energy. It's been hard. But the people who care most, my "green flag people," have all been supportive and understanding even when it meant that no, I would not be giving a lecture recital or slinging chicken spaghetti at the Christmas fundraiser. (Those stung, but green flag friends are the best.)

Reprioritizing is rest's best friend. I've had to consider what is truly important as these changes have arrived. Is my house fit for a visit from the King of England? No. But no need to call the health department, either. Have we had creative and carefully prepared meals every day? Also no. But everyone is fed. Have I been able to review every book/album that has come my way? You guessed it - no. But the ones in my queue are ones I am excited about and that I feel will be of most value to my own customers and readers. (Read my new Book Review policies here.) Have I finished any of the new things I planned for the shop? No, of course. But in addition to giving me more time for rest, reprioritizing has meant that I can say "yes" to things with complete joy and with less anxiety. While I've been cocooning, I've been able to say "yes" more often to the animal rescue organization I helped found. I've been able to say "yes" to my own health. I've been able to say "yes" to local activist groups and activities. And I've said "yes" to the friends and activities that too often have been shunted to the back burner.

And realizing that every no is also a yes? That's reframing. Our homeschool isn't "behind," we are "taking our time." Our plans aren't "ruined," but "redirected." I'm not "failing to reach my goals," I'm seeing that perhaps the goals I set weren't realistic right now, or even, truly worthy of my essence. Is this toxic positivity? Nope. Reframing is hard. There are so many wishes and dreams that I've had to say goodbye to, at least for this season, and that is sad, disappointing, and frustrating. Reframing is a process and it includes grieving the wishes and dreams that will remain unfulfilled, at least for a time. But reframing lets me keep putting one foot in front of the other and it's proven to be the way forward for me.

My last thought on homeschooling through change: use a planning system that helps you reframe as needed. My favorite? Homeschool Planet. This is how we made it through a school year with a full six weeks lost to death, COVID, influenza, and altered vacation plans. I'm not affiliated with Homeschool Planet, but I love it and encourage you to check it out.

What tips do you have for homeschoolers facing big changes? Drop a comment below. I'd love to hear from you.

Coming Soon (unless we have to reframe....haha!): a play for homeschools/co-ops, Sing & Play subscription program, Summer School for Parents/Caregivers, book studies, song collections, and a music theory workbook. Make sure you're subscribed to my emails. That's where I announce sales and share coupon codes. Hearth & Gnome is no longer active on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter - email is the best way to stay tuned in.